Jack: Mind if I sit down? I wanted to ask you something.

Nat: Sit and ask.

Jack: I visited a funny church last Sunday and I was curious what you would make of it. I'm not sure what it all was intended to mean.

Nat: What did you observe?

Jack: Well, it was weird, gritty and disconnected.

Nat: Ah! The Emergent church. It's like going to church in a gutter of the French Quarter before the Sunday morning hose-down. That's their idea of "keeping it real".

Jack: Emergent?

Nat: It's a new kind of novelty religion.

Jack: They seemed to speak highly of tradition.

Nat: Did the church look traditional?

Jack: No, that's one thing I thought was weird.

Nat: Did they sing traditional hymns?

Jack: One kinda hokey text, but even that was from the mid-20^th Century and it was set to a silly tune no one knew. The rest was knock-off indie music played by people who clearly could not get gigs anywhere else.

Nat: Was there a traditional sermon in which a biblical text briefly appeared?

Jack: Not as such. I don't remember seeing too many Bibles.

Nat: Yes, they pay lip service to tradition, but the only tradition you find is in trinket form. It's a kind of charm bracelet faith: bits and pieces with sentimental connections...but nothing that binds them to a doctrine or a church practice and nothing that suggests coherence. Nothing a traditional Christian would recognize.

Did you find a doctrinal statement on your visit?

Jack: No, I've never asked for a doctrinal statement from any church I visited.

Nat chuckled.

Nat: You ought to make it a rule to ask. You plan to go back?

Jack: Not sure yet. Probably will try to find some context for what I saw; they seemed somewhat sensitive about it when I asked if they were liberal. All of the literature I saw was Leftist political activism.

Nat: You should go back. My guess is they will have more condoms than documents, but ask for a doctrinal statement and ask them what creeds they accept as binding the conscience. Emergents are short on thought and long on atmospherics. Candles, dim lighting, a coffeehouse ambience, slop-art that evokes something in their memories and a bit of mumbo-jumbo to suggest they read a book once and thought they might like to try it again sometime.

People accuse them of being liberal for good reason. And it annoys them...which I find amusing. Look for Obama stickers on the bumpers. Their National Coordinator shouts "death to homeschooling" like some weenie ayatollah, which gives some clue as to their political disposition. And which of us needs to be reminded that homeschoolers are a grave threat to our liberties?

Jack: So you think there's no future for this group?

Nat: Oh, I wouldn't say that; really bad ideas sometimes gain a following. I would guess in the long run it can't survive any scrutiny; it's why they don't put stuff out to be scrutinized. But I suspect if it lasts it will have to morph.

I read one statement describing a children's program: "We create our curriculum with the awareness that children are wise in ways that we have forgotten." Sounds like a portent of a shocking news story. I suspect that that sort of sentimental loopiness will not survive in a world where childcare is taken seriously.

But do go back and ask a few questions. If I tell you what I think, I guarantee some emergent will complain that he's being "labeled" and that I can only raise questions representative of my prejudices. Apparently they are the only people who can transcend their culture and the historical moment. And they do this in spite of the pop culture encrustations they call their art.

Ask them how they can do that.