We now dedicate ourselves to collaborative friendships, partnering and constructive caring. How could it hurt for friends to collaborate? Who would argue against partnering, and between constructive and destructive caring, who would choose the latter? These are empty phrases that could produce unanimity among a whole shelf full of bobble-head dolls. And if we are careful not to say what we are collaborating on, if we don't explain what we are partnering in, and if we don't define how our care is in fact constructive, we can promise everything and deliver nothing.

This is today's church: huge bowls of smoke. Fundamentalists are becoming more and more serious, neo-evangelicals are writing yet another manifesto, seeker-sensitives are threatening to make self-feeders number as the sands upon the seashore, and emergents are spreading an ethos from sofa to sofa.

Yes, our greatest minds have tackled the problems.

Finally there will be mighty collaborations, bold, innovative thrusts, and radical agendas. Campaign will follow campaign, and manifesto will be stacked upon manifesto. And not a moment too soon.

I poked around and sifted through some open source lunacies. I found these underneath a sofa cushion: "7 exercises for the ordinary time". Here are some hard-hitting ideas that will make you badminton enthusiasts grateful you invested $190.00 in an authentic NFL helmet.

Buckle your chinstrap.

1. There is the rhythmic way which involves a daily reading from the breviary followed by an hour of reflective silence.

2. There is the simple way: you sell half of what you own and give the proceeds "to global poverty". Not the needy person Providence has placed in your way: "global poverty".

3. There is the creative way which sounds especially productive. You walk through your neighborhood for several hours and then "write poetry or music expressing God's hopes and dreams for the neighborhood".

4. There is the hospitable way wherein you presume on someone else's hospitality by sleeping on his or her couch for several days. You might also hunker down on the street with a homeless friend.

5. The marginal way would involve your hanging around a place where you are not wanted.

6. With the subversive way you might find yourself involved in street theater, some sort of political protest.

7. And finally, a peaceful way might have you wandering a dangerous part of town at an unsafe hour. This would "foster peace".

The Rhythmic way, the Simple way, the Creative way, the Hospitable way, the Marginal way, the Subversive way and the Peaceful way.  "RSCHMSP" for short, or—as I like to think of it—what you will be saying to the police after the doctors wire your jaw shut in the emergency room because you did #7.

And of course the "eschatological hope". Don't forget the eschatological hope.

Like a mighty army moves the church of God.