Nat looked over the just-refurbished café and chose a table with a view of the large print on the north wall. He sat down, sipped his drink and studied the print of Turner's Decline of the Carthaginian Empire. The waitress soon interrupted his thoughts with a plate of roasted onions, goat cheese and a toasted baguette.

Two displaced rubes walked over to Nat's table.

Male Rube: Hi, I'd like to give you a tract and answer any questions you have. Mind if we sit down?

Nat did not answer but watched them both sit down as though they'd found place cards with their names on them. Their intrusion foreshadowed nothing nearly as rewarding as the Turner.

Male Rube: My name is Phil Burke and this is my wife, Barb.

Barb: Hello.

Nat: Phil and Barb, how ironic.

Phil: What's ironic?

Nat: I was just looking at that painting behind you when a phil and barb sat down in the foreground.

Barb: Oh yes; very pretty. Lovely sunset.

Phil: I'm the preacher over at Inexpressibly Dreadful Independent Baptist Church. We're reaching out to the community.

Nat: Ahh. The chapel at Pooh Corner!

Barb: Pooh Corner? From the cartoon.

Nat looked at Barb who seemed chirpy in an insincere way. There was a severity to her plainness that conveyed disapproval.

Nat: From the book. It's faded from memory somewhat, but I recall a house was built for Eeyore at Pooh Corner and the wind blew it to a different location.

Barb: I don't follow.

Nat: Well, that's the story of your church, is it not? You've built a house and the winds have blown it to a new address?

Phil: You speak in riddles.

Nat:  Metaphors, I hope.

Phil: I want to ask you, if you were to die tonight, why should God let you into his heaven?

Nat: I believe, Phil, that when you sat down at my table you offered to answer my questions. So before I answer your silly question, maybe you could make good on your offer.

Phil: Why is it a silly question?

Nat: Is that another question?

Phil tried to recall what he was taught in personal evangelism classes.

Phil: Ok, I'll play your little game. What do you want to ask me?

Nat: Jonathan Edwards distinguished between true and false religion. He says the fair shows and glistering appearances of false religion have the effect of gratifying the devil and encouraging multitudes to offer to God abominations in the place of service.

Are you familiar with Edwards' thought?

Phil: I remember reading Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God back in high school.

Nat: Ahh. Do you think it is advisable to gratify the devil and offer abominations to God?

Phil: Of course not. Why do you ask?

Nat: It's good to hear you say that. I was listening the other day to some of the things your little fellowship of saints has produced and I thought I should probably seek some clarification on that point.  Just for my records.

Phil: What were you listening to?

Nat: As near as I can tell, they were advertisements for your god cast in the form of nostalgic piano pieces reminiscent of Jo Ann Castle and Bob Ralston.

Phil: You didn't like them and you want to blame me?

Nat: Can I blame you, Phil?

Phil: I'm not responsible for what other people do.

Nat: Are you responsible for what you do? and are you responsible for your collaboration with those who market those little disgraces?

Phil: I don't see how.

Nat: As I recall, your brand of Christianity was very vocal in criticizing others for the same thing; back when you were running buses all over town and when you had the largest Sunday Schools in the country and the most aggressive evangelistic programs, you had rather pronounced opinions on the matter. "Discernment" and "separation" were the needs of the hour. Now, not so much.

You appeared competent and very eager to pass judgments on the culture of Murphy Brown, CCM and MTV. Cultural values were very important and you had lots of Bible verses that condemned your enemies' sins, I'm just asking to see how the same exegetical rigor and reasoned argumentation applies to your own stuff.

Phil: I think you are making too big a thing out of stylistic differences. I think this is just a ruse; a way to express your contempt for something you don't like. You just want to see our religious ideas die.

Nat: Well, on that point I can put your mind at rest: I think your religious ideas are already dead. I think that the debris your movement has produced is beyond repair. My interest is not in you or your movement or even the idea of your movement. I'm curious about the shape piety will take after you've trashed the religious culture. What church will our kids have to go to? What "stylistic differences" will they be saddled with?

If you're still interested, give it some thought and the next time we meet, I'll enjoy hearing your insights.

Phil: Then will you answer my question?

Nat: I think by the time you answer my question it will be clear why your question is silly.