* * * WARNING * * *

This post contains puerile observations and offensive language.

We know our civilized readers will make allowance for the fact that we are reporting on Emergents' recent activities and will therefore expect gratuitous profanity as the preferred means of expressing their deepest theological insights.

Please understand that this is just them keepin' it real.

* * * WARNING * * *

Tony Jones and Doug Pagitt have formed a production and consulting company which, sparing no strokes of genius, they have named JoPa Productions. Their most recent failure took place this weekend in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and it was called Christianity21.

The plan was to invite 21 females to talk for 21 minutes about the future of 21^st Century Christianity—and I think all of us of the masculine persuasion spotted the flaw immediately. Jo and Pa intended for it to be "less a conference and more a happening, an event-a gathering of voices and ideas that will shape the future of our faith".

Confusing interconnectivity with community, this bunch of Sunday School dropouts began twittering in public. I include a couple twitterings for your edification. The first is from c_w_s, a talkative woman but not much of a looker who really knows how to twitter after a religious happening/event/gathering. After the first evening she could be found in the bar calling to everyone online:

c_w_s: not quite ready for bed but don't want to drink alone. Anyone else in the Marriott bar? I'm on the couch by the fire.

We hope she found the "community" she was looking for.

Mike Stavlund, ranking Emergent thinker, wanted everyone to do the environmentally responsible thing, especially when using the facilities:

MikeStavlund: make a statement for justice by not flushing @ #C21 (if it's yellow, let it mellow...)

Makeesha Fisher, one spokesbimbo of the 21, was quite entertained by Paul Soupiset, her colleague at Generate, and the artwork he was doing on site:

makeesha: @soupiset just sketched flowers that looked like little sperms lol #c21

Three other attendees celebrated an idea voiced from the stage by Debbie Blue:

moffou42: God the Almighty, sucking at his mother's breast, unable to hold His own head up. A God who has an anus... it seems like blasphemy. #c21

jakebouma: Debbie Blue on incarnation: God had an anus. Naturally, @soupiset draws "Anus Dei". Perfect. #c21 #c21 http://twubs.com/c21

dtrigueros: death & decay, bacteria, shit, phlegm:the Body of Christ. We eat & drink this ev week so complicated gives us life #C21 (via @Mad_Curls)

Then it occurred to the spiritually sensitive happydaydeadfis that these epiphanies might not be leaving the best impression on everyone in the world observing from his computer:

happydaydeadfis: remember, folks who are reading the c21 tweets, that these quotes are OUT OF CONTEXT. they are good, but... #c21 http://twubs.com/c21

Killjoy.

Elsewhere mlgregg wrote:

mlgregg: Holiness is characterized by profound joy... i.e. the Dalai Lama and Tutu #c21 http://twubs.com/c21

And one last quote from mojojules:

MoJoJules: #c21 fucked my shit up. I feel almost torn a part. Needing for when I come terms w/ it to look someone in the eye and tell them the gift

It's difficult to quantify the impact that was made on a person who feels almost torn a part [sic].

But one of my favorite features of the happening/event/gathering was the "Sparkhouse", a little white playhouse with a red chair and a welcome mat. Whatever time was left over after coming up with a name for the JoPa Production company was given over to this brilliant innovation.

People were asked to sit in a special chair and offer ways to "spark new life in Christian communities". We got the considerable wisdom of

Doug Pagitt
Tony Jones
Phyllis Tickle
Julie Clawson
Spencer Burke
Steve Knight
Philip Shepherd
Jay Bakker
Jake Bouma

I cannot imagine your not wanting to hear these emerging philistines and degenerates explain their ideas on sparking new life.